Within Me Without Me

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Thursday 13!

Thirteen Unique Things about Carrie

1. i have a mole on the sole of my right foot.
2. i eat broccoli with mayonaise (or as my husband calls it, "prison style").
3. i refer to my dogs as "the girls".
4. i can't give blood here in the states because i lived in london for four months during the mad cow disease scare.
5. i played the oboe in high school.
6. until just recently, i thought the chorus of the song "Drift Away" started with the words "gimme the beach boys and free my soul..."
7. i have a gray streak in my hair, in the same place i used to have a brown streak when i was a kid.
8. i am allergic to sulfa drugs.
9. i love, love, love baseball and the astros. i love to talk baseball with my husband (or anyone for that matter) and my male coworkers are often amazed by my knowlege. this makes my husband very proud.
10. when i was pregnant the first time, i couldn't stand the sight of bones. (chicken bones, ribs, etc.) they made me feel sick.
11. i have kissed nolan ryan's son, reid.
12. i bought my husband's wedding ring on ebay, and he got mine at a pawn shop.
13. i dropped out of an algebra class in college because it was too easy, and enrolled in a harder one.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
leave me a comment, and i'll put your link here!

chelle y


my 2 cents


mama duck

chupie&j's mama

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

putting food on the table

so jerry is now a hunter.

he has gone out and spent hundreds of dollars on a gun and hunting supplies and camo, and left the house at 4:30 this morning to go shoot wild hogs.

it's not just a pastime, honey, i'll be saving us money in the long run by bringing home meat!

mmm. hog chops and sweet and sour hog, or maybe i'll just roast one whole with an apple in it's mouth.

i did tell him that if he does shoot one, we are absolutely, definitely not hanging it's head on our wall.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Thursday 13

Thirteen Things about Carrie

13 things on my desk right now

1. my cell phone
2. an empty coffee cup.
3. an orange
4. stacks of applications to go through
5. post-it notes that are only on my desk because they ordered the wrong size to fit in my post-it note holder. i need the square one, and they got the big rectangle ones.
6. pictures of my dogs, babies and friends
7. calculator
8. a houston texans cup with pens, pencils and highlighters
9. a campbells "soup at hand" creamy tomato
10. a baggie of cake that my coworker gave me - homemade by her aunt, from scratch!! yummy...
11. radio/cd player.
12. a magic 8 ball (i use it to decide if i'm going to hire someone)
13. silly putty

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. href="http://zumfamily.blogspot.com">
2. href="http://fourbzboysmom.blogspot.com">
3. href="http://www.patentprincess.com">

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

hot debate with the hubby

so here in houston, a proposal is on the ballot for a city-wide smoking ban. in all public areas. no smoking at all.

this apparently has been passed in austin, too.

now, i am not a smoker, but i have been. so i sympathize with a smoker's plight. and while i do not have the desire to be a smoker now, i do feel pretty strongly about this ban, and feel it's unfair and unnecessary. jerry, of course, is all for the ban. he's pretty much the reason i stopped smoking in the first place. he has asthma and allergies, and smoke really bothers him. i got tired of him sneezing all over me whenever we were out drinking, so i quit smoking. oh, and i really started to enjoy going up stairs without sounding like a dying crow, and waking up in the morning without a scratchy, junky throat and lungs.

i just think that a person ought to be able to smoke in an outside, well ventilated area, and if a bar or establishment wants to provide that area for it's smoking patrons, they should have that option. it's good for business. i know when i waited tables, i always wanted the tables in the smoking section, because they almost as a rule spend more, stay longer, drink more, have higher checks, and consequently, tip better. and while smoke in a restaraunt is annoying when you're not a smoker, we all have the choice of which restaurant to go to. we choose the ones that either don't have a smoking section, or have them sufficiently separated so we don't have to deal with the smoke. (incidentally, even when i was a smoker, i didn't like sitting in smoking sections while i was eating. food and smoke don't go well together. booze and smoke do, though.)

i also do not believe that second hand smoke from being in bars and restaurants will give you cancer. growing up in a home with smoking parents, maybe. but if the only time you are subjected to second hand smoke is when you are out in bars, and you spend enough time in the bar to worry about getting cancer, fear not! you are not going to die of cancer, you are going to die of liver disease. and that's your own damn fault.

my suggestion is this. if the government feels obligated to regulate our habits, and provide more clean air for it's taxpayers, they should grant stipends or tax rebates or some other kind of monetary reward for the establishments that do not allow smoking. that way, bar or restaraunt owneres who now say that they are committed to their smoking clientele will have a choice in the matter - they can forgo the rebate and still offer smokers a place to hang out. and all the non smokers can choose to avoid those places, or at least know that there are other places out there who did ban smoking in their bar, who are committed to the non-smoking clientele. every one has a choice, there are costs and benefits to those choices, the government gets to promote healthy living, and everyone wins.

and if i ever get the opportunity to go to a bar again (hubby and i were dreaming about it last night, as the babies were clamoring for our attention) then i can have my nicotine buzz added to my alcohol buzz to make me an even cheaper date.

Friday, October 13, 2006

a new guilty pleasure...

since kel is one of the only people who reads my blog, i thought i'd make a confession sure to get her laughing.

i just finished reading a "fluff" romance novel, and i'm ashamed to say i couldn't put it down! i've never read fluffy romance, but i bought it in the grocery store the other day, just to have something to read on the bus to work every day. it was 'paradise' by judith mcnaught. and now i will have to go back to walmart and buy another one, just because i really did enjoy the soap-opera like story line. and, of course, all the sex.

don't know if i can afford $6 per week to buy all these books though. i'll have to go to half price i think.

have a great weekend!

day off!

so today i'm home with the kiddos.

the original reason was that we were going to go on a trip to dallas today as soon as jerry got off work, but that's no longer the plan. here's what happened:

alec, my 15 year old stepson had gotten information about a program at UNT where you complete your last 2 years of high school and your first year of college at the same time. it's for very bright kids (which he is) and for high achievers (which we hoped the chance at this would help him to be...)

alec is very capable, and he was psyched at the prospect of a program like this. we've planned this trip this weekend for weeks, for their orientation/informational meeting. until yesterday we find out that on his progress report, he is failing 2 classes, has 2 c's and the only a is in PE.

needless to say, the trip is cancelled. we are not interested in spending hundreds of dollars we don't have on going to check out a program he has not the slightest chance of getting into with grades like this. there are other meetings during the year. if he can get his act together, we will consider going another time.

he is way too smart to fail high school classes. seriously - and i have high standards. the kid just doesn't put out the effort. and he is too disorganized to keep track of his stuff. he is actually failing because he can't be bothered to turn stuff in. how sad is that. i've been threatening for years to pin his homework to his shirt in the morning before he goes to school.

the biggest problem for us is that he lives with his mother. he is only with us one school day out of the week. no one at his mother's house is the least bit interested in how he's doing in school, hence the lackadasical attitude towards school. and now, all of a sudden, when grades would really help him do something he wants to do, he doesn't have the habits and values we've been trying to instill in him for so long. she has resisted jerry's suggestions for so long,and it's finally coming back to bite alec in the butt. i hope something good can come of all this soon. i hope he can get his act together, and get his grades on track, because plunking down a bunch of money on programs like this or even on college just isn't something we can do. not without a money tree in the backyard.

so anyway, i still took the day off, anyway, since i had already planned to. we're going to play outside in the (finally) cool weather!

happy friday!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

50 things meme

1. How tall are you barefoot? i'm pretty sure i'm 5'5". my husband swears i'm shorter than that.

2. Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship? umm, yes. never unfaithful to jerry though.

3. Do you own a gun? no way. i'm scared of guns!

4. Have you had a mental disorder? i think if i had, i'd still have it. those kinds of things don't really go away...i'm rather certain that i have healthy ego function. do you like my big psych 101 words?

5. Why is a raven like a writing desk? both start with the 'r' sound.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? they're awesome with just mustard and relish, and a cheap/fast way to feed the family when we've got 8 places to go at once. and an absolutely essential part of a baseball game.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? i love to listen to Handel's Messiah at christmas time, but i also like o little town of bethlehem.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? diet coke. my husband refers to it as "diet crack". we're very addicted. it's ugly in the morning if there's none in the fridge.

9. Do you do push-ups? no. i think the last pushup i did was in high school.

10. Have you ever done ecstasy? No. and the more i learn about it as an adult, and see the effects it has on these kids, i'm sure glad i didn't.

11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? my husband is my boyfriend and best friend. and i do not have an "on the side ho."

12. Do you like the rain? oh, not really. rain is great when you can stay in bed and drink tea and nap, but since i'm rarely able to do that, rain becomes an inconvenience.

13. Are you sweet? uh, sure. i'm generally not ugly to anyone, if i can help it. i can usually help it.

14. Do you have A.D.D.? no, but i swear my mother does. hopefully the symptoms don't develop in me as i get older. i have to concentrate for the both of us whenever we have a conversation.

15. Full initials? i was cmk, then cmke, then cmk again, now cmd.

16. Do you like the snow? i love snow! we only see it every so often, and then only an inch or so. i've also seen it (not in texas) in deep, fresh drifts in full sunlight when it sparkles like diamonds. amazing.

17. Name 4 thoughts at this exact moment. switzerland was really cool. too bad i was sick the whole time i was there. i coughed so much i threw up. hopefully the last time i ever have pheumonia.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought in the past week: groceries, raffle tickets to a neighboring parish bazaar, candy at the ball park

19. Have you ever been arrested? No. although i could have been, several times over.

20. What time did you wake up today? alarm went off at 6 am, snoozed three times, got out of bed at 6:27.

21. Can you spell? very well, thank you. except i have a mental block against the words receive and tounge. i always want to write recieve and tongue. wait, did i spell those wrong again?

23. Current hate? hacking up green stuff out of my lungs. (sorry for the disgusting visual, but it is my current hate.)

24. Favorite place to be? in bed on a saturday morning, before the business of the day begins, and jerry and i can relax and chat before all the kids start waking up and needing things like food, new diapers, a ride somewhere....etc.

25. Least favorite place to be? the doctor's office, alone with a two year old and a three month old. emotionally difficult b/c of the shots for the baby, and trying to convince the two year old that he won't get stuck this time around. and physically difficult carrying the two kids and all the crap that goes with them.

26. Where would you like to go? i'd like to visit australia someday. presently, though, i'd like to go home and hang out with the kiddos.

27. Do you own slippers? yes i have 3 pair. one pair of black isotoners, one pair of fluffy leopard print, and another pair of off white cushiony ones that are still in the box from last christmas. the fluffy ones are my favorite.

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? proabaly still working in probation, hopefully a supervisor or administrator by then.

29. Do you burn or tan? i usually will burn a little, but it turns to tan.

30. Yellow or blue? depends on what it is! prefer a yellow highlighter, but i prefer blue clothing.

31. Would you be a pirate? only if i could be on captain feathersword's friendly pirate crew.

32. When was the last time your phone rang? it's ringing right now!! my co worker bianca.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower? whatever is in my head at that time. usually a wiggles song. i try not to be too loud though, b/c jerry's usually still in bed when i'm in the shower.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? i used to have this dream that a giant lived down the street, and he would come out and grab me. i didn't like sleeping with the closet door open - who knows what evil stuff comes out of there.

35. What's in your pockets right now? one binder clip.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? jerry telling me about his conversation with his retarded ex-wife. she thinks she can tell him and the rest of the world what to do. and she just can't. it's funny.

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? peter pan sheets! scenes from the movie all over.

38. Worst injury you've ever had? separated my shoulder while playing softball five years ago. i've led a charmed life, i know. oh, and that's if you don't count two caesarean sections, or a terribly broken heart in high school.

39. Have you ever crashed a car/truck? slid my car into a ditch when i was 16. no major damage. was rear-ended in my firebird about 7 years ago. minor dents and broken taillights. ran into and broke a full fishtank (with fish in it) while pulling into my garage while we were moving in to our townhome. nothing major.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? three - one in our room, one in the family room, one in the playroom upstairs.

41. Would you ever buy an iguana? only if one of the kids wanted it for a pet, and was willing/able to take care of it all on his own.

42. Are you attracted to your same sex? oh no. i am able to acknowlege another woman as being attractive without being jealous or afraid of being a lesbian.

44. Do you wish on stars? i used to. now i believe prayer is more effective.

45. What is your favorite book? the count of monte cristo by alexandre dumas. i really wanted to name my son edmond, or my daughter mercedes. but it was not to be.

46. What song did you last hear? don't remember. i listened to talk radio on the way to work this morning.

47. Do you think Mormons are hot? they could be, just like anyone else. they aren't hot just by virtue of the fact that they're mormons. what an odd question.

48. What is your favorite cereal? favorite good-for-you cereal is cracklin' oat bran. favorite junk cereal is lucky charms.

49. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping! long gone are the days when midnight was when the night was just getting started. i am offically old.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? hurry and turn off the alarm before it wakes up the baby!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

more running - will it ever stop?

someone please help me!!

on sunday, aidan sneaked out of the pew while i was feeding sadie. i had to put her down and lunge for him, but he did a little sidestep move that would make any running back proud. then he slipped past the man at the end of the pew, and was gone. he ran (and loudly too, flap flap flapping his shoes on the ground) up to the front, crossed in front of the altar, and up the center aisle towards the baptismal font. luckily, our friends (who also happen to be his godparents) were seated next to the center aisle, so his godfather snatched him and met me at the back of the church with him. and of course aidan was giggling away the whole time.

had he taken off at any other point during mass, i would have taken him outside for a few pops on the butt. but it was right before communion, and i happen to believe that experiencing God's grace through the Eucharist every Sunday is one of the things that keeps me from going crazy on this boy, so i figured i better not miss it.

how can i make him stop all this running?! how do i get him to understand (and obey) the word "stop!"?

i always thought the "leash" was a mean thing to do to a kid, but i'm re thinking that. i mean, it's not for my own convenience, it's for his own safety!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

aidan's eci visit and other emotional ramblings

So last week, the early childhood intervention people came to evaluate aidan to see if he qualifies for a language/speech delay. they evaluated him on several scales - speech, cognition, fine motor, gross motor, social/emotional. he is at age level or beyond for all except the speech, which i expected. however, he's only about 6 months behind in the speech, and mostly because he doesn't complete his words or say most of them correctly, or put two together to make a sentence or complete thought. when we were listing the vocabulary, we found he has about 75 words. wow - i would have guessed a lot less. so they're going to be coming out to work with him twice per month until he turns 3, then they'll re-evaluate and see where he'll transition to from there - either the school district, a private therapist, or no services, if he really improves a lot.

i was happy that they really involved cha cha in their evaluations, and they and i asked her questions about his activities during the day. i want her to feel like she's an integral part in his development, because, of course, she is.

sometimes i feel really guilty about being here at work all day with the babies at home with someone else. i count the hours in my head that i actually get to spend with them, versus the hours that she spends. i feel even worse when i think about the times that i go to the grocery store by myself and enjoy it because it's an "escape" from having to deal with all the kids and hubby and work. as if i spend so much time with them that i have to get away. when it comes down to it, it's really just a fraction of my day. i wish i could just stay home.

there are some good things about me working. i'm building assets with a really good retirement plan, and i can retire from the county really early, since i started young. and that's not just for jerry and i to enjoy - it's to benefit all of the kids, when weddings, new houses, and new families all happen for them, we'll be ready to help financially. but right now is when i'm missing them growing up and being cute and busy and in awe of everything. right now i miss squeezing them and cuddling on the couch and exploring. i know i do as much as i can at night and on weekends, but it hurts that i can't do more. sigh. i miss my babies.

Monday, October 02, 2006

running me ragged

so noah had his second baseball game of the fall ball season yesterday. this is the city little league, which is rather competitive. he is still kind of catching up with the other kids. he's one of the youngest on the team (10, 11 and 12 year olds) and has only played one season of baseball at the ymca. this experience really hardly counts, since the coaches gave them next to no direction, and just kind of threw them out there and told them to catch the ball, and don't worry if we lose, because everyone is a winner anyway. annoying. so noah has a ways to go to develop his skills, but it's good that he's started in the fall, which is kind of the off season, and less competitive than regular spring season. he is being pushed pretty hard, which is what he needs. this is a kid who sat on his butt in front of the tv or computer all summer getting white and flabby instead of tan and lean. but he is enjoying playing, and wants to get better, it's just a little difficult to get him to practice outside of practice. like swinging the bat a little, or throwing at the pitch back in the back yard. he wants it to come easy, and it won't. well, we keep encouraging him, and giving pointers, and playing catch, so hopefully he'll get it. he's already improved so much.

anyway, sunday was pretty funny - aidan would not sit still at the game. i let him run up and down next to the field as we watched the game. what i didn't know is that there is an outfield gate that was chained closed, but still could be pushed open about 7 inches or so. just enough for aidan to squeeze through and run out onto the field during the game, while noah's team was in the field. i ran over there, but needless to say, i couldn't squeeze my big butt through that opening. i called to him, but he just grinned and ran. sigh. so another little boy there (about 8 years old) volunteered to squeeze through and grab him. but not before they had to stop the game because of the two year old out there playing left field. as soon as i gathered my child, thanked the 8 year old bounty hunter, and returned red-faced to the bleachers, my husband suggested that maybe the babies and i should go on home. good idea. i love him to death, but boy that kid runs me ragged.

he's not bad, he just loves to explore - that's it!!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Flicks Results - good job!

1. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - points to kel
2. Thelma and Louise - points to laina
3. Turner and Hooch - points to laina
4. Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion - points to kate
5. Benny and Joon - points to ksl
6. Batman and Robin - points to laina and jenn
7. Kate and Leopold - points to kate (how appropriate)
8. Rocky and Bullwinkle - points to laina
9. Dumb and Dumber - points to jenn
10. Lady and The Tramp - points to kelli

Thanks for playing everyone!! i trust everyone can look at the answers and guess the theme already.....

i'm so glad ksl came along on saturday and got benny and joon, which is one of my alltime favorite movies!!!

ok, kel - do i total up points and send them to you?