Within Me Without Me

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

time to be carrie and not mommy

so i usually don't complain. or i try not to. but last weekend, i was so looking forward to some me time. jerry had gone hunting the weekend before, and i was home all day with the kiddos by myself. i did enjoy myself, but it just gets, you know, old.

and i suppose i was just a little jealous of his ability to leave for a whole day with no responsibilities and no one clinging to his leg and no laundry to do, and no cooking.

my plan for saturday was this: get up, feed the babies, go for my hair and pedicure appointment at the salon. go shopping for paint and decor for babies' room, get hardware to hang drapes in the living room, go to palais royal clearance sale to find some work clothes that actually fit my post-prego body, go to the grocery store. sounds pretty mundane, but the dreamy part of it is that i get to do it without kids! no searching for a binky, no chasing the 2 year old track star, just on my own time.

well, when i got done with my hair and feet appointment, i made the mistake of calling him. first words out of his mouth: when are you coming home!!?? i paused - didn't hear the baby crying in the background. i asked him if they were awake and giving him problems, and he said, no, she's fine, but i know any minute now she'll start screaming.

what i should have done is just go on about my business and come home when i was good and ready to come home. but i went back to my reality and relieved him of babysitting duties. cleaned the kitchen, threw in a load of laundry, fed the baby, etc etc etc.

how come i don't get a whole day to myself? how come i don't get to spend hundreds of dollars on a present for myself that no one else gets to enjoy, take a whole day away from kids, spouse, etc, and just do something fun with my friends?

answer: because i'm mom. i'm not dad.

i love my husband dearly, but seriously, when i die, i want to come back as a man, and i want to have a wife like me.

3 Comments:

  • At 12:20 PM, Blogger Kelley said…

    I hear you...why is it that when guys are making plans for their weekend, they never give a thought to who's going to watch the kids? They just assume we have nothing better to do. My husband is usually pretty good about "babysitting" on the weekends, but sometimes he does make me feel guilty too. I'm really not ungrateful for all the work he does to provide for us, but I'm starting to get annoyed that I can't rely on him to be home by a certain time every evening if I want to make plans. I think it really shouldn't even be referred to as babysitting, when they're watching their own kids!

     
  • At 12:22 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    i agree. it isn't babysitting. it's parenting.

     
  • At 1:11 PM, Blogger Kelli in the Mirror said…

    I'd have had a hard time not yelling, "Did I ask you when you were coming home from hunting?" and then finishing my plans anyway.
    You gotta be gone sometimes so they appreciate what you do, I guess. Still sucks though.

     

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