Within Me Without Me

Thursday, June 07, 2007

My exclusive interview

so seriously, about a month ago my friend kelli was interviewed by another blogger. this is a new take on memes, i guess. i'll share the questions asked of me, and my answers, and if you want me to interview you, tell me so in your comments here, and i'll link to your interviews too.

sorry, kel, it took me a month to do this!!! but these are really good questions!

so here goes:

1. How does doing the job you do all day and the things that you see affect the way you parent your older boys?

a little background...i work for juvenile probation. i have two stepsons who are 11 and 16.

it does have a profound effect on how we parent them. i share stories about kids on my caseload sometimes, about what they did to get in trouble. teenagers sometimes don't know how serious their shenanigans can be...a simple "mooning" can get you branded a sex offender, and any graffitti on school property is a felony. they don't know these things. they also practically never think about how an innocent situation can blow up out of their control until it's too late. we've told them both that it is not ok to be at a friend's house without parents if there are any girls there. period. you never know which little girl will claim to have been touched, kissed, leered at, etc. and how it can screw up the rest of your teenage years. **please do not read this as saying that all these teenage girls who make allegations are lying. they're not. i just have to look at it from the perspective of a parent to two very good boys, and having seen plenty of lying troublesome delinquent kids, i know what messes they are capable of making for the good ones.

so anyway, the long and the short of it is, working with delinquent youth has made us careful to communicate the potential pitfalls of delinquent behavior to the boys. it also give us credibility with them, i think. they know we speak from personal experience when we tell them what the kids did, didn't do, and how they were punished. and so far it has worked. they are two really good kids.

2. If you won the lottery tomorrow, I know you would pay off bills and help friends. Everybody always says that. What are some fun, frivolous, unexpected things you'd like to do with some of the money?

buy a house and some property in the country. use it as a weekend getaway kind of place. i always said i'd buy a building for the TCU sociology department too, since the Sociology/Criminal Justice Department was housed in a double wide trailer on TCU's campus. I would donate a sizable chunk to the Church, probably specifically for youth ministry. Maybe buy a chunk of land and start a campground/retreat location. complete with cabins and cafeteria, lakes and canoes and all that good stuff. i wouldn't even mind putting it on our own aforementioned property in the country that we use as our weekend getaway. it would be fun to come visit the youth while they're on their retreats.

My husband wants to start a grassroots political organization to lobby to reform child support and child custody laws. We feel that the father in a divorce is really treated unfairly, and shouldn't be forced into near poverty by court imposed child support, especially when he has joint custody.

hhmmm. i would probably still shop at target and palais royal - just buy more things, and not only wait til they're on sale. i would always have a pedicure though. i would have the softest, prettiest feet ever. and tons of shoes.

oh, and we would travel!! we have family all over the country (and friends all over the world) so we would definitely travel.

and i would have season tickets to the astros. definitely.

3. You hear a lot about the special bond between twins. Is your relationship with your twin very different from what you have with your other two sisters?

good question. it is, but maybe not so much because of the twin-ness, just because they are 8 and 6 years older than me. they were our babysitters when we were little, and once they were in high school, our paths just didn't cross much. we inherited and treasured all their hand-me-downs, and strived to be just like them in many ways (ie, being in band, playing volleyball, excelling in school) but i think katie and are are closer by simple virtue of the fact that we went through all of our stuff together. and really, it's only been in the past couple years that i have really developed a closer relationship with my older sisters, simply because we finally have things in common - marriage and kids. they each live far away - one on each coast - so we don't talk too often, but when we do, it's about our families or how crazy our mom is, or about plans to visit each other. recently though, i've talked a lot more with my oldest sister jennifer, because she and her husband are very devout catholics, and were really a big boost to me during my divorce and subsequent marriage, to really learn and return to life as a practicing catholic. i credit her intervention and gentle pushing to get me and jerry to rediscover the benefits and joys of our faith. and of course, that has brought us closer too.

so i guess i would say that katie and i aren't weirdly esp twin radar close, but there's defnitely no one who could ever know or understand me or love me like she does. and vice versa.

4. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be? (You can choose courses and sides too.)

oh, man. as much as i love steak and lobster and ice cream and asparagus, i think that i would have to go with a big huge breakfast. i'm talking about fluffy pancakes with various syrup flavors, sausuage, bacon, biscuits and gravy, grits with butter and sugar, toast with jelly, hash browns, migas with salsa, egg and cheese tacos a la mexicana with beans and pico de gallo, fresh fruit, orange juice, and hot coffee with heavy cream. your basic breakfast buffet. jerry has several times sat slackjawed in awe of me tucking into a hefty breakfast like this. i'm telling you, i can really put it away. i would have no problem with having breakfast like this all day every day for the rest of my life.

5. Is it okay to ask a question about your dad? If that's too personal I don't want to step on your toes. If it's okay, tell us something about that- what you remember, what you wish, just something.

my dad died suddenly when i was 10. he had epilepsy, and died in his sleep in his hotel while on a business trip in dallas. he traveled a lot for his job, and was mostly home just on weekends. looking back now, i guess i wish he had been home more, but i don't mean that to sound like i'm faulting him for having that job. he always provided for us - that's what is important. he only spanked me once, and that was for lying to him. he was definitely a people person, and loved to throw parties. he was a bartender in college, and he made up a drink called an "adios mother" made with blue curacao and pineapple juice and gin, i think. he made it for all the new year's eve parties he and my mom would throw every year. he was an amateur carpenter, and a pretty good one at that. he made several desks, tables, side tables, beds, and even a play kitchen for us. my son now sleeps in the bed he made for me. i remember days hanging out in the garage with dad with the sound of the circular saw, the smell of sawdust, and us "helping" him put together whatever he was making, nailing together little bits of scrap wood, and bringing him sandwiches or drinks out there in the heat. looking back, we were probably kind of in the way, but he never made us feel like we were. and i remember him talking to us about our faith. i remember him telling us that your soul is like a tin can, and the holy spirit is inside, but all your sins go inside too. the more sins are in there, and the longer they stay, the dirier and yuckier your tin can gets and they take up room from the holy spirit. so you go to reconciliation/confession to empty out your tin can, to clean it out and make more room for the holy spirit to live there. how's that for theology!!

i love and miss my dad. i know he's in heaven looking out for us, and i'll see him again some day.

5. If you didn't have to take your husband's opinion into consideration, what would you have named your kids?

well, if aidan had been a girl, he would have been named miriam, mia for short. for a boys name, i wanted edmond (as in edmond dantes from count of monte cristo). i also liked ranen (hebrew, meaning gift from god) and mateo. not sure what i would have ended up picking...

for sadie, we had a short list. although her name was high on the list anyway, i really liked shelby, elena, rosalie and isabel. i think shelby or rosalie would have won if he didn't have an opinion.

both of them would probably have their same middle names, because lawrence and frances are my dad's and grandmother's names.



so there you have it! the exclusive interview!

if you want me to interview you, let me know in comments!!!

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3 Comments:

  • At 3:31 PM, Blogger Kelli in the Mirror said…

    YAY!! I'm glad it was fun, even if it took awhile to think of answers. It took me awhile to do mine too, and actually, I haven't even sent a batch of questions to all the bloggers that asked for them yet!

    I've seen you eat that breakfast. I forgot how much you like it. :)

     
  • At 4:24 PM, Blogger ChupieandJ'smama said…

    Very interesting! I like these because I get learn more about people I read.

     
  • At 10:48 AM, Blogger phdatc said…

    Very interesting Carrie. I have learned something truely interesting about you. Thank you for sharing. :)

     

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