day number 2

well, it wasn't as bad as expected....

first let me say thanks for the prayers and well wishes!!!

ok, so to finish out the day yesterday...i called them about a hundred bazillion times, and every time they were very sweet and gave me an update, and let me listen to the monitor on the room. he had calmed down, and even played with the other kiddos a little. he would play, then cry some, then play, then cry. he ate a bite or two of his lunch. and he actually did lay down for nap time, and slept for about forty minutes. i was shocked! but then, they said he woke up, and pretty much freaked out again. they brought him up to the front office (there's a little play room right there where the kids can wait to be picked up) so they could let the other kids sleep. he was inconsoleable for about an hour, at which point they called and suggested that maybe it would be a good time to pick him up. i had already planned to leave work at 2 to get him, so leaving at 1:30 wasn't too much off target. anyway, by the time i got there, he was calmed down, had eaten a popsicle, and was playing cars with one of the staff. when he saw me, he started crying again, and ran to choke me around my neck. but that only lasted about 20 seconds, and then, get this: he grabbed my hand and wanted to take me back to his classroom! i was so pleased that he still wanted to be there, just didn't want to be alone. so we walked back and got his things, and played a little, then left.

they also suggested that maybe half days would be best for the first week or two. which is fine - cha cha can pick him up at noon. i wish he could stay for nap time, but we'll work up to that. and - even though they don't usually do it, they offered to only charge us half while he's only coming half days. wow. they really are super nice there. i knew there was a reason we waited a year for this place!!!!

so, now to this morning. again, i was shocked that he still wanted to go! he had no problem getting up, getting ready, and was telling me, "go go, mommy!!" and hopped right into the car. wow. however, it all went downhill when we pulled up in front of the daycare. he started crying, and saying "no not there, mommy!!" he didn't fight me to go in - i still think he likes being there, just wants me to be there too. we went into the classroom, put down his things, and went to the cafeteria to eat his breakfast. he wasn't interested at all. kept crying. i decided not to prolong the agony, and gave him a kiss and told him i love you and cha cha will come pick you up soon. when i called an hour later, they said he was playing fine with the other kiddos, and had only cried for 20 minutes or so. wow.

so i guess it's going better than i thought it would. he's acclimating, and i can't wait to see the benefits of being in a more structured environment. i'm hoping his behavior will improve too now that he will have more consistent limits too. and i hope he'll start to talk more too. i'm dying to be able to have a real conversation with my son. i want to know what he thinks and feels about stuff.

anyway - one day at a time.

here's a question though - i'm a little uncomfortable with the arrangement of me taking him in the morning, and cha cha (our nanny) picking him up (rescuing him!) in the afternoon. will he resent me for being the one to abandon him? or am i thinking too much?